It’s okay mama. It’s okay that you bought the original goldfish crackers because your toddler wanted them instead of the organic bunny knock off ones that don’t taste as good. Yes there may be some moms out there who will judge you, but it’s okay. And that’s just silly anyway. Processed food is processed food no matter the label you slap on it.
It’s okay that you decided to fall down an internet shaped rabbit hole for an hour today while your kid watched You Tube videos on repeat. Mama, trust me on this one, it’s totally okay. If you read a few extra books at bedtime tonight to compensate, it’s okay too. And if you don’t read any books at all today, no one will die.
It’s okay mama to not look at your dog the same way. To have a Facebook feed that reminds you that 4 years ago you posted picture after picture of your rescue pup’s big brown eyes. And now the only pictures you’re putting out there are of your gorgeous baby, obviously, and MAYBE a sliver of tail in the background or half a paw. Your dog loves you anyway, I promise.
It’s okay to be weirdly relieved when your kid isn’t the only one crying at the birthday party. Or to be really annoyed when your kid IS the only one crying. Or to be the one crying. Mama I promise, it’s okay.
It’s okay if you’re not swimming in mom friends. If you don’t have a village to help support you through the newborn phase, the one kid into two phase, the baby to toddler phase. Maybe you just moved thousands of miles away from family. Or don’t get along with your family. Or don’t have any family at all. Maybe your marriage is on the rocks. Maybe it isn’t and you feel isolated all the same. Maybe you’re a single mom just trying to make it through each day without losing your shit. Or you’re a mama with social anxiety. Or a mama with a traumatic past. Or a mama with all of the above. I’m here to tell you it’s okay. You’re enough.
It’s okay to not be the fun mom. The creative mom. The Instagram perfect mom. The take a picture of every milestone and share it with the world mom. Maybe your life doesn’t resemble an inspirational life quote meme and it’s okay. (It’s also pretty cool if you are that mom, and I’ll be honest, we’re all a little jealous of you. And even THAT is okay).
It’s okay to not be okay. To strongly dislike your post-partum body. To not think your c section scar is a work of art. To wish you didn’t have wounds that make pregnancy and child birth look like it’s a battle. Even though everything about it is worth it, and so much about it is beautiful, some parts of it might not be pretty to you, and it’s okay.
It’s okay to be sad, mama, for the you you’ve lost. And to still be getting to know this new version, this mom you, months, even years later. It’s okay mama, it really is, to be annoyed with your childless friends because they’re annoyed with you. Annoyed that you’re not the same. That you bend to bedtimes and seek out kid menus and can’t brunch for four hours on a Sunday. It’s okay that you’ve changed. It’s pretty awesome actually how gracefully you’ve left your old life behind.
Motherhood can be lonely and claustrophobic and emotionally draining at times. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. To feel tired. To want to be the kid instead of the mama now and then. It doesn’t mean you adore your little humans any less.
It’s okay if you love most of it. Hate parts of it. And want to keep your kids in the safety of your home forever one minute and set them free the next. Being a mom is awe inspiring and complicated and scary. And you’re doing better than just okay, mama, you’re doing great!