Why Interviews Suck

You know what I hate? I hate it when the recruiting manager of a company tells you ALL about all the awesome things you’ll get IF and only IF you are ACTUALLY hired to work there.

That was the first 15-minutes of my interview, a treatise on all the perks of being an X employee. 26 days paid time off. Healthy food restaurant only for employees. Yoga classes upstairs. Travel via private jet (I’m serious). $1,000 each year to spend on your favorite charity. This reminded me of The Price Is Right where they show you this amazing package for a kitchen remodel that you’ll only get if you happen to make the right bid or whatever. Well I’ve always hated The Price Is Right and now I hate interviews.

This is the thing, I met with three women who make up the Food Regulatory Compliance department. It wasn’t until the end of the interview that I learned that the FIRST woman makes the hiring decision. She was a very hard to read, very experienced attorney who didn’t seem impressed by me. At the end of our time together she made it a point to say, “Well we have other interviews this week.” I took that as code for, “don’t get your hopes up sister.” I have to admit though that she seemed like a very smart person who I’d love to work with. I’m just being negative because it helps me face reality. Career awesomeness aside, I would LOVE to dine at the healthy food restaurant thank you very much and donate a grand to the charity of my choice.

Where I’m strong in FSMA compliance, I’m weak in labeling compliance so unfortunately they will likely choose a candidate that has labeling experience (sorry if this sounds like Swahili to you). This is such a niche field I’d really like to stay in, but jobs like this in the food industry are VERY VERY rare. Here I’d be working in a fancy pants business office versus a manufacturing environment. I may be a tomboy in a lot of ways, but working amongst forklifts with an office in a trailer complete with bullet proof steel on the side of it is not my idea of a dream job.

ANYWAY, so back to the drawing board. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could literally draw my perfect job and it would materialize? You know like the secret or something. Quite honestly, that’s how I felt about this job I just interviewed for. Sigh. Really though, the gut is telling me it ain’t happening.

All the while, I’m supposedly pregnant. Other than extreme hunger that broke my gluten-free discipline and sent me to the nearest Italian restaurant after the interview and waking up at 6 am, I’m symptom free at 4 weeks.  Feels just like my triploidy pregnancy. Are you sick of symptom watch 2013, yet? I certainly am.

Thanks for listening to my boooooo sheeeit, peeps. Seriously, having a place to vent is priceless.

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11 comments

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  1. likebutta

    I always feel like recruiters make it a habit to monitor my reactions when they reveal what’s behind door number one: the company car, a porsche or the massage clinic on the roof. If my eyes light up, the recruiters regroup, huddle around, and revel in telling me that their exclusive club-like hotel retreat is going to continue to be exclusive, without me. I’m too cool for them 🙂

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  2. cassiedash

    I’m sorry about the interview. It really does sound like a dream job, but you just never know what awaits you around the corner. Your pregnancy is the perfect example! Life is full of surprises and, if this job isn’t the right one for you, maybe another one, a better one for any number of reasons, is. I’m sorry for the disappointment you’re feeling, though. I know it sucks.

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  3. Steph Mignon

    Awe this is such a sweet comment. And you are totally right! Whatever way things go, something good will come of it. Even with my pregnancy. This infertility journey has helped give me so much more perspective.

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  4. gardengirl29

    Aw, I’m sorry you got a crappy feeling about the interview. I, too, hate when they discuss the perks right off (although none of my prospective jobs have had perks that awesome)! It feels like they’re sadistically dangling a carrot in front of your nose, and it can make you even more nervous for the interview to go well!

    But, it’s true that good things are coming to you either way. =) Who knows- maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Maybe it would have been a crazy, workaholic job from hell that would keep you late hours and that would stress you out while you were pregnant and raising a baby/babies.

    I hope that things unfold in a wonderful way!

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    • Steph Mignon

      Seriously so sadistic! It’s okay though. The universe will send me the right fit, I’m sure of it!

      Thank you for being so wonderfully supportive through everything my dear! You are fabulous!

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      • gardengirl29

        Thanks- you have been wonderful, too! I think I would have gone crazy without having you as a support system. You impress me time and again with your grace and sense of humor about the whole thing. Big hugs to my long-time friend, and I feel that good things are coming your way!

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  5. Daryl

    My husband has this theory that you should always be the last person interviewed in the hopes that that’s the one they remember. Hasn’t worked for him so far. I’m going to continue to send positive thoughts your way about this job because, even though you feel like you’re not the most qualified, you might be just who they’re looking for. Plus, the perks sound fantastic!

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  6. Kasey

    I often wish I could draw the perfect job too. I have no idea even what it would be if that were a possibility. Sometimes the most qualified person isn’t the best person for the job. I worked on our hiring team comittee for years and often times we would pass over someone because even though they were the more qualified of the two their personality left a lot to be desired. Don’t give up hope!

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