First of all, I want to start with an apology and a thank you. I’m almost a day late with this update and it’s very shitty of me. I also want to thank the amazing fellow blogger who checked in on me. Do you realize you are even more thoughtful then some of my real life friends? I’ll never take for granted the support I’ve gotten from this community.
Those of you who read often know I had an appointment yesterday and I should’ve updated as soon as I came home, but I just couldn’t (even though I got great news!). I ate a bag of cheesits and drank a Gatorade then went to bed.
So here’s how it all went down.
As soon as the wand was inside me the tech exclaimed, “I see a heartbeat!.” This sparred me the usual anxiety as they shift the thing around to get a better look and to do measurements. Baby measures 6 weeks 3 days (2 days behind if my calculations are accurate, but I’ll take it!). Heart rate according to the tech was 144 bpm, but according to my doctor who called after we left, 120 bpm. I’ll take those too. Whichever one it is.
In talking to the doc, we both compared and contrasted this pregnancy to my last. This was when things stopped progressing last time. When I saw a heartbeat of around 90 bpm. At this point last time, I still had absolutely no pregnancy symptoms. Now, I feel very much pregnant and am treasuring each craving, each woozy feeling, and all the exhaustion (as best I can). I know I’m far from out of the woods yet, but yesterday was an important milestone for us.
Now let’s talk about food. I’ve been having serious problems with it. Yesterday was my healthiest day all week because I actually managed a giant spinach salad with mushrooms, garbanzo beans, sunflower seeds, hard boiled egg and feta cheese (how I usually eat). I was pleased it didn’t leave behind the horrific metallic taste I get when I eat almost anything else.
Here are some of the strange “anything else’s” I’ve eaten in the last few days:
-dark chocolate squares for breakfast several times
-Egg rolls & half an ice cream sandwhich for lunch
-An entire box of 100% fruit Popsicles throughout the last week.
-Two cans, yes two, of the ever revolting Chef Boyardee Ravioli (I haven’t eaten canned food in probably 10-years, let alone the Chef).
The chocolate squares aside, I eat none of the foods listed there regularly, if at all. And now the thought of them repulses me. I bought a bag of bagels, had one, now can’t even look at them.
Today I resolve to pull it together. Cheesits and gatorade for dinner are no way to treat a developing fetus. I’m headed to the farmer’s market to buy as much fresh fruit as I can carry (I’ve noticed a connection to metallic taste and processed food so I’m going to try to stick with fresh stuff where I can).
Guys, it feels so much more real when you see the beating heart. It’s so hard not to get lost in fantasies of names and baby faces, of how this thing will be half me/half him. But I’m going to allow it for a second. I’m going to ride this wave of happiness through the weekend and put off my worrying until Monday.