Goodbye Little Dog

My dearest baby dog,

A few moments ago, I pushed the back button and accidentally deleted one of the most heartfelt and tear inducing posts I’ve ever written, inspired by you. I deleted what felt like the perfect post to commemorate your life. In it, I thanked you for all of the ways you saved me. I thanked you for how you healed my heart, again and again and again. How you lapped up my tears like it was your job, licking the sadness from my face like it was what you were meant for. Every single time.

I thanked you for how you grounded me through my wild twenties, me a palm tree in a hurricane, you my tether to planet earth with your fresh water and walk needs. I thanked you for how  you prepared me to be a wife and a mother, how you taught me what real, unconditional love is all about. I thanked you for so many things. For so many amazing, wild, hilarious, fun, and  frustrating memories you brown-eyed, perfect little puppy dog you.

Hercules (2)

But just like that, in a fervor to find my favorite picture of you as a puppy, that perfect post was gone. And just like that you were gone too. Asleep forever. Ah sleep, your favorite thing.

Talking about the end being near, as we did these last six months of your life, doesn’t make it easier, contrary to popular belief. You’ve left a chiweenie sized hole in my heart that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fill.

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Little dog. Schnerk. Chiwere. Baby yog. Fink. You were special. And you will always be my first baby. Always. My thighs will never be the same without you to warm them.

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What will I do when I put D to bed tonight and don’t hear your little paw scratching at the door? What will I do when the carpets are cleaned and the stains of you are no longer left? What will I do without my little guy curled up next to me, cuddled up in the crook of my arm, wiggling with happiness at my return home? What will Halloween be without you in your hot dog costume?

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This may not be the perfect post I had originally written for you, but that’s okay. Because the most important thing of all, is that I was yours and you were mine, the love I’d see in your eyes for me as real as churches, and earth worms, and gold.

Goodbye baby dog. And thank you for everything.  You gave me so much more than any accidentally deleted blog post could ever explain.

Your dog mom forever,

Steph Mignon

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13 comments

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  1. mylifeasacasestudy

    Um….*lip quivering, tears tolling down my cheeks*…I’m so very sorry for your loss. Cheers to the good times and the bad times and all the in-between times you shared with your faithful companion, the one…the only…Hercules ❤ XOXO

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  2. Shannon Bozzone

    Oh my God – tears are streaming. I’m so, so, so sorry Steph. Little Herc knows how much you loved him and he is in doggie heaven now, looking over you, Levi, Daphne and Henry. He will be forever missed. We love him and love you guys! XOXO Date: Fri, 31 Jul 2015 21:08:28 +0000 To: sk_bozzone@hotmail.com

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  3. cassiedash

    Oh, Steph. I’m so sorry. While this post may not be one you intended to write, it still has me in tears because I know so well what it is like to lose a beloved pet — it’s more than losing a “pet,” but a best friend and a family member and a piece of your heart. Your sweet puppy was clearly well-loved and was given a good life. I know he (she?) would wish you healing, comfort, and peace right now above all else. As do I. xoxo

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  4. Daryl

    I’m so sorry, Steph. I know how much that little guy meant to you and how hard it was to see him in pain. He’s not in pain any more, though you feel intensely the hurt of his absence. Be kind to yourself, as you would be with any other loss, and know that it was the right time. Sending hugs.

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  5. gardengirl29

    This post made me cry. It was a beautiful tribute, even if it wasn’t what you originally wrote. I can’t imagine it said better. Our first dogs are there while we grow up and become adults, and they’re our steady constant during that time, leading to an especially strong bond. Herc was an awesome dog. I’m so sorry. Big hugs.

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