It would be called, “Puking and Home Renovating,” or perhaps, “30 Days to Create the Perfect Air BnB Paradise while dying,” or maybe, “The First Trimester from Hell Home Decor Challenge.” All of the HGTV-type shows out there are so vanilla compared to what I’d be serving up. Because for once I’d like to see one of the expectant moms hunting for her dream home abruptly stop the cameras from rolling so she can dodge one of the Property Brothers on her way to hurl. Or better yet, not dodge him. I’d love to see a Property Brother speckled with vomit.
Before I found out I was pregnant, and long before I started my daily dances with the porcelain God, Merp and I hatched this amazing plan. The heat out here in the Santa Clarita Valley, nearing 100 most days was getting to us, and we missed the character and culture and cool breezes of coastal living. All the while, my Mom up in Carmel, California was making a killing on her guest cottage, renting it out to Air BnB travelers non-stop to the point she opened up other rooms in her GORGEOUS mountain estate. We thought: why can’t we get in on the Air BnB action? Why can’t we subsidize a small house in a small beach town we can enjoy every so often with the help of vacationers? So we scraped our plan to pay off student loans and recently closed on the most adorable Spanish bungalow EVER, half a mile from the beach in Ventura, California. Ventura, a town of 100,000 people, is 25 minutes from Santa Barbara, 50 minutes from Los Angeles, and truly one of the only remaining affordable beach communities in all of California.
I was sooo excited to renovate and decorate and cozy up this little gem before my energy took a nose dive and the sickness set in. Now, the thought of meeting with plumbers and electricians, while scouring furniture stores for unique finds, makes my stomach flip. But I have no choice. And I am so grateful we have the means to do this, I just wish I’d be able to enjoy the process. Want to see the Pinterest board I created, pre-nausea, for inspiration? Have a gander if you’d like.
When I was in Las Vegas a month ago visiting a friend, I found this funky pink chair with the idea that I wasn’t going to play it safe decorating House of the Smiling Sun (our current name for the place). I was going to have fun with color and texture and fabric and light! I was going to bargain hunt and stalk Craig’sList for all the deals. But now, when I look at that pink chair I want to puke. I bought it at a thrift shop a week before the nausea really kicked in, when I was only dry heaving, but now even glancing at it makes me ill. Sigh. And super weird. But just like this pregnancy, I know the new home is a HUGE blessing, one I wish I had the energy and the stomach to enjoy. But, you can’t always get what you want, now can you?
So I ask, where the hell are the HGTV people when you need them!? I’d so love to have them look at my Pinterest board and then do it all for me, while I sit on my couch with Daphne and read The Goldfinch (an amazing book I just started and literally cannot put down).
Anyone have tips for pulling together a house in a month? For surviving home decorating while feeling this sick? For not making decor decisions I’ll regret because I’m so different right now? I need all the advice, and help, I can get.