My post, Weaning Woes, is going to be published on Scarymommy.com! So cool!
While I’m honored that such a popular website chose me, and my words, I’m also so terrified I feel sick (no wait that’s the pregnancy nausea I still have at 17-weeks). Seriously, though, I’m one scared mommy.
Before I get into why I’m afraid (and it’s not of success! Bring. It. On.), here’s how all of this happened.
I emailed Scarymommy.com a few of my pieces from months ago, the one about D falling off the bed, the one where I talk about feeling like a mommy zombie, and the one about basically being turned away from a steakhouse because I brought a baby. A few minutes later I received an auto reply that read something like this: “If we like you, we’ll contact you in the next 7-days. If you don’t hear from us, we don’t like you. We get too many submissions to reply to everyone. Sorry.”
The next day, I heard from their content manager, who said something like this: “Great posts! But they’re too long and not general enough. Shorter, more broad pieces do better on our site. Feel free to submit additional work.”
I was annoyed because rejection sucks, but she was right. Those posts are SUPER long, and speckled throughout I had my daughter’s name among other details that are too specific.
So, I forgot about it. Until I was inspired to write about my weaning experience with D. In doing so, I decided to write in a more general way since my goal is to write for a larger audience eventually anyway. And then I submitted and she loved it! She actually said that too!
Now here we are. Weaning Woes will be published on Scarymommy.com on October 20!
I’m excited, of course, but I’m also scared. I’m scared because rather than getting paid, because the post was published here first, I’ll get a link back to this site. This means that thousands of people could potentially read all my other blogs. The ones about infertility. Miscarriage. My brother’s mental illness. The ones about being a child abuse survivor. This means that when I share the Scary Mommy link on Facebook, those curious enough will come here. A few of my close friends follow this blog, but most do not. A few of my friends also know about all of my “issues,” but most do not. See, scary. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I still have so far to go, you know?
I’m tempted to make it difficult to find my most sensitive posts, but I feel like that’s a cope out. I’ve already put so much out there in an attempt to keep the conversation going about things I care about: endometriosis, mental illness, and child abuse, among many other things. To back out now, to censor myself and my life, feels a bit like cowardice. Ugh. I just don’t know. Maybe I’m thinking too much about this and no one will like my post and no one will click back to this blog so it won’t matter!
Speaking of blogs that rock, that’s all of you guys. Fellow bloggers who mom, you ever thought about writing something for Scary Mommy? Well you should. So many of you are bursting at the seams with talent. If you want to give it a shot, here’s the info about how to write for Scarymommy.com.
In the meantime, would you be scared too if you were me?